Draft Reflective Analysis on portfolio

Creative Nonfiction                                                                                         Marjorie Papa

Reflective Essay Draft

            I have always been passionate about writing.  I tend to be a passionate person by nature and when I find an outlet that makes me feel like I’m accomplishing something, I put my whole heart and soul into it, figuratively speaking.  For as long as I can remember, writing has evoked that feeling in me.  Over the years, I have found that I even enjoy the pride and accomplishment after writing about someone else’s works or findings, as in a research or journalistic paper.  Yet it has always been when I am allowed full free reign to write about whatever I am compelled to, that I awaken the most. 

I never gave much thought to writing creative nonfiction.  I realize that this is because I didn’t write anything creatively that I would label as “fiction” or “nonfiction.”  To me, it was all just creative writing, writing creatively.  Looking through the gems of my writing from the span of many years, I see that I have been producing as much creative nonfiction as creative fiction, if not more. 

One “gem” that stands out the most to me is a poem I wrote the day after the tragedy that was September 11^th, 2001.  It seemed to pour out of me as if it were up to me and only me to write those words, my words, down.  I can only barely recall actually writing it.  I remember sitting in the building, awaiting my next class, and writing.  It is as if I’m watching someone who looks like me, back then at least, write down my words.  This is what happens when I am truly and deeply involved in my writing, for however long it takes to create it.

Taking a course on writing creative nonfiction has opened my eyes to a whole other level of writing for me.  I had a difficult beginning, though.  I did not expect to be writing so personally about myself, even though it wasn’t a specific course requirement for me to draw so personally.  The requirement did call for a personal reflection when writing an “I” essay; but not necessarily from the depths of the soul.  So, I challenged myself after sensing a fear of exposure.  I feel exhilarated with what I have been able to produce in a short amount of time.

I also had to reach within when deciding what to write for an “eye” or perspective essay.  Once I had some ideas, I then had to put an effort or concentrate a little more so that my “voice” was heard through my words, but did not directly state my personal reflections.  This was quite difficult on the perspective essay I wrote about my sister and a tragedy that occurred in her life.  In the end, I was satisfied with my draft and how I was able to give life to a death.

During this new journey of creative nonfiction writing, I have come to see how much I rely on and appreciate constructive feedback.  I like specific suggestions.  It is these kinds of suggestions that seem to motivate me to make it even better, whatever piece of writing that “it” may be at the time.  I have seen ways to focus on something specific and really get into detail as a way of allowing the reading to “feel” with me or “be there” with me.  It invigorates me to know that maybe one person can see something clearly through my eyes.  It is even more rewarding that my words serve the purpose of my eyes, and ears, and feelings. 

Writing is empowering.  I have always considered myself a writer, whether anyone agrees or not.  It doesn’t matter to me, because it is mine…and it is me.  Something has been reignited within me.  I now plan to return to and commit to my writing, as if it were a faithful and patient lover. 

Part of this course requires that our writing be submitted.  I absolutely look forward to this more than I imagined.  I know it’s because I never imagined actually sending in any of my work.  I guess I thought it would just magically happen one day that I became “a writer.”  Well, I am a writer.  It makes no difference if someone doesn’t agree with me.  I feel it inside of me.  And I look forward to my future rejections…I am a firm believer in what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.  So look out, literary world.